Introducing Tales of Madness!

Introducing Tales of Madness!

All of us, at one point — or many — in our lives have done something stupid, insane, dangerous or hilarious. Frequently, the thing that you’ve done might be all of these things, and more. I’m a million miler frequent flyer on the idiot express, and I’d like to hear about the dumb, insane, dangerous or hilarious thing you’ve done.

If you’ve never read Tales of Madness! (or you’ve found our sticker around Portland), here are all the latest tales.

The Basics

• I am not a lawyer, which means I am definitely not your lawyer. Don’t tell me anything you’d be worried about telling a cop, not that I intend to talk to them (unless you tell me something that needs to be reported). 
• I love a good story and I don’t really care if it’s true, but I reserve the right to publish as I see fit. That might mean I do some creative editing to try to make a story clearer, or I choose to format in a way that highlights specific elements that I think are funny or interesting. All submissions will remain completely anonymous.
• Mean-spirited, insulting, cruel or abusive stories will not be published. This is for fun, if you want gratuitous malice, go to Reddit.

How it Works

If you want to leave your own tale of madness, dial the hotline at (971) 202-0326 and leave a message at the beep. You’ll have three minutes to tell your tale. There’s no follow up, no one will ever answer this line, and text messages won’t be read or returned. Want to block your number? Even better! For most carriers, you can enter *67 before dialing, though you’ll need to introduce yourself to the automated system to prove you’re not a bot.

You can also dial directly from this page by clicking the button below.

That’s it! Operators are standing by, give us a call and tell us your Tale of Madness today!