How did you find your way into federal service? Did you always want to join up?
I ended up in the Army because I learned in high school that ROTC would pay for college. I’d done JROTC in high school — honestly, because I was accidentally enrolled in it for my elective, and a relative said they didn’t think I was cut out for it. I had to prove ’em wrong. I ended up liking it, though I’m sure it was mostly a matter of it being a ready-made community, and that one of the instructors was fantastic — one of those cases where a person was in the perfect kind of job for them. The last person in my family to serve was a grandparent who volunteered in WWII. My parents were actually a bit weirded out when I decided to go after a ROTC scholarship. I’m from a blue state, and from a pretty liberal family – this isn’t something people from my milieu really do.
How did you find your way into federal service? Did you always want to join up?
When I opted to be a cadet, it isn’t as if I didn’t take the military seriously as, oh, an institution or a career field – but I signed up for the folks already in the military, and for the community. I originally wanted to do SAR (Search and Rescue). I signed up the year of the Surge – they couldn’t even get all their scholarship slots filled that year. People always find that bizarre, they expect one would’ve had to be the most HOOAH! Army person to decide it was the right career choice that year.
I hated being a cadet. I’m glad I did it, and I won’t claim I got nothing out of it, or that it was a waste of time, but a lot of it was brass ring-type bullshit. It was a relief to get to the actual Army and realize, “Oh, okay, Cadetland is a different place compared to the real thing“. I like my job, and I’ve generally liked my job in my career.
What does this work mean to you? Why is it important to you, personally?
I’ve tried to get assignments that I think matter, and I’ve been pretty lucky on that front. I mean “matter” in the sense that — not that the specific role itself is vitally important, but that it’s contributing toward a mission that is. So, for an example: I think European stability is vitally important, since we have hundreds of years of what it looks like when Europe is a shitshow. So, I’ve gravitated toward billets in Europe. Does this mean I am doing something for the American people? Probably for most Americans, only in the sense that America is almost certainly better off not having a war raging across another continent. I don’t have illusions about it being like, “Oh, if I didn’t do this, Americans would die!“. But in my current job, I do very strongly believe it is important that this region doesn’t collapse into war.
What should be important about this work to Americans? Why does it matter?
I admit, I’m tempted to be flip and say, “If shitlibs like me don’t do these jobs, then some fascist shitheads will, and then we’re all gonna learn what it’d be like to have an American Kadyrov“. But I want to be more serious, when I think about whether to stay in or not — and I have thought about that some — I think, “Good lord, I’m not perfect, and I remain suspicious that maybe I’m just trying to justify myself, but how could I bag out now?” It wouldn’t be the honorable thing to do, I’d be ceding the ground to terrible people, I’ve got to try to grit my teeth and keep on.
It’s better if this region doesn’t go to shit because it’d probably, as it has done before, drag bigger players in and make the world shittier for everyone. My subordinates’ work helps keep Americans stationed here safer. There might not be a ton of them, but they are Americans and have families and people who would be crushed if they were harmed. My subordinates’ work also helps keep other non-DoD Americans here safe. Maybe that’s abstract for most people, but it matters.
What does all of this chaos and dysfunction mean to you? Do you have a sense of how it’s all going to impact your work and your mission?
At the moment, if I don’t win my current fight to prevent my civilians from having their jobs cut, I straight up won’t be able to do my mission. They’re too critical to it — they provide the continuity which the military personnel don’t. Military duty assignments across DoD are usually 3 years or less. Civilians get much more time in-place, and, if they’re good, the command they’re in will put in extensions for them until the sun explodes. In my previous role, there were civilians who’d been there for 12+ years. My civilians are like that. Chucking them out suddenly, I can’t possibly replicate their body of knowledge, experience, in the space of a few months, and that doesn’t even touch on the toll on them already — we’ve had since the inauguration a constant rollercoaster of, “You might be getting cut! Ok, no, maybe not, we’ll think about it… ok but only if you demonstrate your worth. Oh, just kidding, you were gonna do that and you’d prepped what we demanded, but we already decided to stuff you.”
They keep apologizing to me! Which pisses me off, they shouldn’t feel like that, I’m just doing what I should as their boss, fighting it. We’re not able to provide as much support as we did or should. My time has been eaten up mostly with trying to fight this. Of course, they’re having trouble focusing while also having to take time to, for example, figure out what aspects of their work they should emphasize most during these “Does this really matter?” sessions from on high. My higher-ups aren’t helping the situation — it’s a shitty one, but I don’t believe they couldn’t handle this with more human decency. It makes me so angry. It’s such an awful way to treat people, especially people who have been so dedicated over the years, and so willing to pour everything they can into it, because they truly want to ensure Americans here can operate safely.
I am going to stick in the military and I promise to fight tooth and nail to fulfill my duty, which is really to say, I won’t follow illegal orders, and I will fight to do what is right, even if people above me are insisting I shouldn’t. I’m still pissed that voters have put me in this position. I don’t want to have to be honorable, I want to boringly do my job!
GOLIKEHELLMACHINE 